Howling with Self-Compassion -- Developing Resilience
“Sometimes things come together. We see an image, it jolts our soul. We feel “yes, this is me.”
Expressing your trauma
This was my experience as I viewed Oracle Card XIII from Cyndera Quackenbush, of the she-wolf, howling. Her arched back, thrown-back head, baying to the world, was exactly how I felt:
· The war that just erupted in Israel,
· the war in Ukraine continues,
both with children being kidnapped,
· the starvation of the Armenians, which Hilter would have again loved, as it inspired his treatment of the Jews, those with disabilities, and the gypsies.
· the dysfunction in our own government where elected officials forget that they were elected to represent all in their district, not just those who agree with them.
….. all makes me want to scream, just as the she-wolf was.
I felt her rage. And saw her strength. I said to myself “I know this feeling….” And, it was validating.
An oracle card?
You may have stopped reading at this point.
Am I a believer?
The answer: I’m curious. And the author of this Substack blog on Archetypal Stories, who also runs one of the best After-School Programs in the San Francisco area, leads the weekly writing group which I attend. Here she begins with a short meditation, and then we do the really hard thing—write.
As a benefit of the group membership, Cyndera also sends out an image of her weekly Oracle card, with an interpretation.
The card last week was of a howling she-wolf. I know it was a female, because I felt her. Howling at what she felt, sending her vibrations into the world, saying she was here, not happy, and not going away.
This is how I felt.
Stunned, grieved, infuriated by the horrors I knew were happening simultaneously in our world.
Planning a webinar on trauma while in and out of the bomb shelter
I’m outraged by the Israeli Hamas war. I’m a psychologist and work weekly on two major projects with two prominent Israeli psychologists who have given so much through research, teaching, and healing to those affected by trauma.
Today, I was trying to get information from one of my colleagues on her upcoming free webinar on trauma. When she was able to get back to me she shared she had already been twice in the bomb shelter in one day
My other colleague on the Lebanon border, has been watching the sky and sea.
The sadness and fear that these two giving women are experiencing is gut-wrenching. But equally powerful is their bravery, and their giving hearts. This bravery, goodness I know is repeated in Gaza, in Ukraine, in Armenia.
A howling wolf and resilience
Resilience is built by what we do with what happens to us. There is so much happening around us and for many of us, to us as well. I’m not recommending going out to find pain to become strong. And, I’m not recommending you go out and get into a war, just to grow.
But pain, tragedy, conflicts seems to find us all.
Consider this: if you find yourself in a conflict within your country, family, with your partner, in your neighborhood, place of employment, once you can come out of your being numb, process your pain, your fury, and wanting to lash out, you may find a different path can open up to you.
…leading to self-compassion
Your pain can perhaps be used as a portal to have you think about, or even force you, and hopefully some politicians, even countries, to do things differently—if you allow yourself to feel for yourself, to feel your aching, as opposed to covering it up. This is self-compassion. Only then can you decide if you want to change direction, where you want to go, and where to begin.
Cyndera’s card reminded me simply that I can howl. I can take up space, do something productive, howling and releasing some of my hurting, frustration, allowing me to take other actions to try to resolve the conflict I’m experiencing -- Reminding myself that doing this is my developing self-compassion for how heavy the world feels at times within me.
I ask you, to think about what you want to do, today. And how you may use what you are seeing in the world, in your life, to grow, even if you begin by letting loose with a howl.
Stay tuned. And if you’re interested in my course on resilience, email me at www.PatriciaOGorman.com .