I’m a psychologist so I know a little about why connection is important, and why pushing ourselves a little to do something for someone else can be a gift for us as well.
Working with Vets
I’m also a psychologist who has worked for several years in an in-patient program with veterans with severe PTSD, and other mental health disorders, which for many led to addiction as they tried to self-medicate their physical and emotional pain.
Did it come easy? Not at all!
But it was an honor to serve those who have served us.
Was it rewarding? Yes!
At times it was even fun, particularly when we did creative out-of-the-box interventions like our weekly Comedic Improv. Here the vets learned to trust themselves, and me, by being in the moment as they performed fairly ridiculous theatre games, learning to laugh, again.
Did we grow together? Yes!
Our resilient veterans
Most of the vets that I treated were young men, who had enlisted and been in several deployments in active war sites. A few of the veterans I worked with were older, had been conscripted, served in Vietnam, and had been homeless.
Some had their bodies blown apart and put back together in Walter Reed, and most endured wounds not apparent to them or their loved ones.
All knew that they had changed. And as much as they loved serving, they also missed their former selves.
Pride, Courage
They had volunteered to protect our country, and for many, they also wanted to have an adventure. What they had in common was love of country as evidenced by many who had American flags and slogans tattooed on their body. And they had pride in what they tried to accomplish, despite how very challenging it was.
They did not know what they would face. But most did it with the support of their combat buddies, and for many, the love of their families, their young children who they missed, and who missed them terribly, as only a young child can. They served as they longed for their children, wives, parents, aunts uncles, grandparents, and girlfriends. They bravely left behind the life they knew for a greater calling.
Resilience -- giving suffering meaning
Despite the loss of their fellow soldiers and their pain, both physical and mental, they were proud of what they gave. They knew what their suffering meant. Freedom for all of us. And this made them stronger.
But for the rest of us, as much as we think we know about our veteran's pride in America, their patriotism can feel elusive. Why? Because most of us have never served.
What you can do -- Thank a Veteran
There are veterans in your life. They could be your doctor, car mechanic, gym owner, coffee shop, coach of your child’s soccer team, fellow parent, or neighbor. What you can do is to thank them, and mean it.
What you’ll receive
By taking a moment and thanking a vet you’ll feel gratitude, and connect in a new way to this person who has been supporting you.
Yes, we are all in this life together. And, it is in this relationship with others that we become not only stronger but more resilient, more able to weather the challenges that life throws at each of us!
So take a moment and listen to Miss America a song by Jeff Goffman. It’s a passionate song written from the perspective of a soldier about his love of our country. I promise you, it will make you feel proud as well.
Stay tuned. If you’re interested in my clinical work visit me on Psychology Today
And if you’re interested in my course on resilience, email me at www.PatriciaOGorman.com.