You Cannot Tell Which Kid is at Risk of Suicide Just by Looking at Them
You may be thinking: suicide! I don’t want to read about this! I want to be happy.
Believe it or not, my goal is to keep this a happy holiday season for you.
I know you may not want to read an article because you feel like it could be a downer. But if there is a child in your life who attempts suicide, you know your holiday season will be less than happy.
So, take two minutes….
“A few years ago, I evaluated a 12-year-old teen who was being admitted to the adolescent drug rehabilitation center where I consulted. In addition to addiction, his accompanying medical information indicated he had recently been admitted to a hospital for an overdose.
Small, bright, and round-faced, he looked more like an 8- or 9-year-old. He spoke freely about his intense LSD and cannabis use spiked by occasional pill use of a wide variety of “whatever I can get.” When I asked about what he recently overdosed on, he offered a shy smile, looked up from under impossibly thick eyelashes…”
Drug use is a facilitator of suicide
Drugs cloud thinking, suppressing rational thoughts, making it more likely for a child or an adult, to act on an impulse.
Kids follow the rule that if you don’t ask, they won’t tell
This is a lesson that the children and adolescents I have assessed and psychologically treated have taught me. I’ve learned that if I, as an adult, am uncomfortable asking a question, they will be uncomfortable in answering the question. The result will be no information.
Ask the kids in your life about their life
I invite you to begin to talk to the children in your life: your children as well as your nieces, nephews, grandchildren, neighbors, children of friends, and children in your religious community. Include in your conversation about the holidays, and weather, asking questions that may make you uncomfortable. Because we all know that when kids get to be a certain age, they …well… stop sharing so much. This means it is often up to the adults to try to begin a conversation.
Be curious, compassionate, and very importantly, direct. Go slow if you need to.
Want to learn more about the how and why of the topics you may want to cover in The Missing Variable Nobody Talks About When It Comes To Teen Suicide.
The gift you give when you speak to a child -- connection
The upside of having some perhaps uncomfortable conversations with the children you cherish is that you’ll learn more about each other and get closer.
Stay tuned. If you’re interested in my clinical work visit me on Psychology Today
And if you’re interested in my course on resilience, email me at www.PatriciaOGorman.com.
Patricia O’Gorman, Ph.D., psychologist and life coach, is a best-selling author of nine books on trauma, resilience, women, and self-parenting. She is also a noted lecturer known for her warm and funny presentations.